lets_be_honest I was struck by the fact that your husbands eye-rolling is the number one signifier of contempt an emotion that is known to signal marital unraveling and other relationship dissolution. I firmly believe that there is no such thing as reading too much. I get that hes probably feeling left out, but thats not cool. Unless its, you know, the lastest Madonna tour or album . However, now as an adult, he appreciates my intelligence and how much thought and research I put into topics, even if we dont agree. So as a clearly NOT fan girl, its pretty good! Husband treats 15 year old step son badly. I agree with you, again. lets_be_honest But talking about that kind of shit non-stop is just BORING. My mom and I both liked movies, reading, pop culture, and shopping. Who knows? We all died laughing. I wonder, though, if it would seem less like forcing if maybe the mother and father both liked to camp? You shouldnt belittle her hobbies because shes more cultured than you , lets_be_honest lets_be_honest Her daughter should stop liking it just because her mother likes it. Because my dad took the time to foster this in me, it has not only made my relationship with him stronger, but with others as well. He's worked extremely hard for as long as I have known him, and provided a good home for me and our three children. Neither does your husband. How the Courts Respond to Parental Substance Use. sign, Get the day's headlines delivered directly to your inbox, You need to be gentle but honest with your friend about her crush. But his way is tearing them apart, to the point where she and I look forward to him traveling so we wont have to tiptoe around him. I agree mostly with your last paragraph, but I wonder how close the LWs perception of the assignments is to reality or whether it might actually be closer to what you described. Ive been there. But nurturing these relationships between your daughter and both you and your husband while exposing her to things that may or may not be of immediate interest to her WILL help her be a more well-rounded, confident young woman secure in the knowledge that both her parents love her. I camped. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'therelationshipnotes_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_10',130,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-therelationshipnotes_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');You feel yourself in big trouble when suddenly your husband and daughter are caught in the middle of a nasty argument. And LW- anyone who tells you Firefly is not a good show doesnt know what their talking about! He's clearly not interested in her and I don't want to look stupid when I ask him. Apparently its socially okay to go to games and paint your face and do whatever sports fans do, but Buffy marathons arent. And something about him wanting the daughter to be more competitive just struck me the wrong way. I generally agree with Wendy, but would add that LW should talk to her husband about the critical view hes taking of his daughters hobbies, the escalating fights between him and the daughter and his way of interrupting conversations between LW and her daughter that annoy him. Actually, my husbands a pretty big fanboy in general. If your H has strong BPD traits, his child-like behavior is easy to explain because his emotional development likely is frozen at about age four. My dad said to me that the best thing you can do as a parent is expose your kid to all of their options and let them decide from there. I finally watched Firefly for the first time last night with my bf who has been begging me to watch it with him. Some people say yes, a parent should love their child more than their spouse. Oh, This Old House. But as a kid/teen, I wanted him to play. Where is the suggestion to ask the daughter what she may want to do? Many things can contribute to this type of conflicts, such as personality clashes or differing parenting styles. Self-centered passive-aggressive husband driving me crazy My dad got me into the Beatles and Hendrix, so I hear that! 1. He did research and found these beautiful Gotz dolls for my sister and I. And my dad is a veritable warehouse of rocknroll trivia when a new song came on, hed often share a fact he knew about the band (Did you know Rush is a three-person band, and that the bassist is the lead singer?), or tell us about a concert he went to in his youth (hes been on stage with Ozzy, yall, close enough to see the O-Z-Z-Y tattooed across his knuckles), or quiz me and my brother to see if we knew who the band was or what the song was. Janet got the love and affection of a parent from the old maid who raised her. I mean, maybe? Spyglassez They actually like this stuff! So it was this wonderful little springboard into history for them. We were really physically active and loved camping and sports, unlike the LWs daughter, but those books made us voracious readers, which in turn made us verbally proficient, intellectually curious, and capable of exploiting our imaginations in sophisticated ways. As a result, she may start to rebel and act out, which can eventually drive her away from her family. But since we dont know which type of person the girls father is (bullying and hurtful, or rude/stubborn yet ultimately well-meaning) I think its helpful that people who had experience in this issue can comment. Yeah, unless you get something you cant do like spell backwards while jumping on one foot, then it just sucks, and you feel stupid. Child Endangerment - a Possibility When Driving Drunk - HG.org No one ever said that being a parent would be easy, and when your husband and daughter dont get along, it can be especially difficult. Guy asked me out and now makes me feel bad for saying no. So you need to be more encouraging of her spending time with him and stop acting like a little club. . Im dying for new people to follow! July 2, 2013, 1:18 pm, Um, both piano recitals and spelling bees are CONSTRUCTIVE activities Fangirling? If his dad had listened when my husband wanted to talk when he was a boy, perhaps my husband would listen to his dad now. Watching their relationship blossom into a father-daughter one makes me realize how lucky I was when he became family to us. Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. I love it. You do her a disservice by being greedy with her time and attention. Does Your Partner Drive You Nuts? The Passive Aggressive Personality My personal relationship with my dad was almost non-existent when I was a tween/early teen, except for those forced family moments. Once they believe that true love need not be obligatory and that intimacy is not automatically correlated with entrapment, they are often eager to learn new ways to make their needs and fears knownand let love in. Build him up to your daughter while your opinion still means something to her. Manchester United bidders move to the next stage of takeover process', Remo Freuler admits Everton's visit is biggest game of season for Forest. No. If you are involved with a crazy-making partner, dont think youre alone. All letters are treated in complete confidence and, to protect this privacy, Fiona is unable to pass on your messages to other readers. Skyblossom So, yes, encourage your daughter to take an interest what your husband likes. July 2, 2013, 12:46 pm. The point here is that Mom seems to allow her to only have interest in those things, which is bad. Something like that might be a good intersection of the father and daughters interests. PS I also dont get why going camping and hiking versus Buffy-ing are mutually exclusive. Frankly, her interests sound pretty varied to me for 12: reading, pop culture, sci-fi, archery, piano and Broadway. I think this is what the LW needs to communicate to her husband. Absolutely Dad! She is also noncompetitive. I used to whine like crazy when my dad tried to teach me about cars or home improvement, or talk about politics. He liked baseball and trivia and languages and anthropology all stuff I didnt really care about. Just because you dont like Buffy and have introduced a bunch of facts that dont exist in the letter (your comment below about what the dad has been putting up with for years!?!) I honestly think both parents are at fault. You May Not Know These 8 Things Are Pushing Your Husband Away - Lifehack July 3, 2013, 3:16 am. I think you should also look at your marriage, because in my observation, the us vs. them thing often stems from problems between the husband and wife, which drives one of them to try to make their child an ally, whether its just to have a friend or as a way to outnumber the other person. At 12, anything my dad would listen to I really had an interest in because I never heard songs like that. This breed of intimate relationship dweller does the opposite of maintaining a sane interpersonal environment. Tell you husband to ease up a little bit. Ross says it definitely would have beenif not for his tendency towards horrific sea-sickness. First and foremost, of course, is the safety of your children. Courts take action when substance use, in the form of alcohol and illicit drugs, and/or misuse of prescription drugs actually hinders a parent's ability to care for their children or when the parent poses a danger to the children's well-being. Theres something to be said for respecting other peoples interests and personalities. And not just to me and your husband. If your husband wants a good relationship with his daughter he must first quit disparaging her and her interests and he must quit rolling his eyes. Isnt there something vampiry that could also lead to a talk about scifi which leads to something the dad may like!?! The father is totally out of line with his dismissive and unloving ways, but so is the mother, big time. My husband is driving me crazy over my daughters wedding The thing is, what the father is doing is rude. And thats always stuck with me, and I find myself thinking about it a lot whenever theres something I dont want to do but that I know is the right thing. I understand how you might be torn how easy it might be to embrace every second you have with her when you know all too soon, shell outgrow her fangirl stage, or at the very least, embrace additional teen-related obsessions, thereby reducing the time she cares to spend with you, and then soon after shell be leaving you and heading off for adventures of her own, away from you and her dad. Lily in NYC The kid keeps it all inside because she doesnt want to disappoint Mom, and the relationship with Dad dies. lets_be_honest So I cant agree that it is never ok. Theres a true difference between good natured humor and cruelty (even if some people claim it is the the former when it is really the latter) and kids need to be exposed to the former. But you seem to have past that point long ago) Just as your husband has tried to cultivate in her his interests. Hey, that kind of worked for me. Exposure to anything is great for children. That doesnt mean you cant enjoy shared interests together, but just do so as mother and daughter, not BFFs. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. From Voyager, for some odd reason, The Q and the Grey really struck a chord with me and actually made me challenge all of my beliefs regarding what is beyond humanity. And then, the next morning, he was an angel and brought me coffee in bed. How the States Got Their Shapes for one. Driving a car in dreams can reveal thoughts and feelings about who or what is controlling your life, how in or out of control you feel, and how clear you are about your goals or destination in life. Seriously, this guy is an asshole. Hopefully, when he sees that it's his entire family that is worried, he'll see that change is needed. Sometimes that means taking a step back and letting things calm down before you try to mediate.

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